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About Literature / Student Jennifer19/Female/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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I left my deconstructed self
in tidy piles on your still-warm bed sheets,
not a bone out of place;
every piece of me sorted and stamped
so at least you’d see
what you were getting yourself into.

You gave me your fingernails;
the stardust beneath them
leaving gritty, sparkling trails on my palms
that made my hands tingle:
half panic, half desire.

I sometimes wondered how we’d fit together;
both of us quiet and awkward and luminous,
collecting kindling like belly button lint
in all our empty spaces,
just waiting to start ourselves on fire.

I hope you find a safe place to shine.
Tinderbox
A new poem! Azah!

The last line of the second stanza started out as "half desire, half possible allergy to your lotion" hahah. 
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Hi my lil sunshinepoos!

So I've started up a new writing blog where I'll be posting my work! I'll probably end up posting all of my work/updates there, particularly novel updates and stuff, but I'll still post some poetry and things here of course, whatever you guys would like to see! So follow me on my wordpress if you would like all my updates~ otherwise let me know what you'd like to see on this account!

I hope everyone is doing well. Feel free to message me anytime if you have any concerns, requests, or questions (or just wanna chat). 

my wordpress: cinnamoncinders.wordpress.com

-Jennifer
(WhisperedInsanity)
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: ELO - Rain is Falling
  • Reading: Girlchild - Tupelo Hassman
  • Watching: Orange is the New Black
  • Drinking: Water
This world belongs to us,
us with dreams loitering in our eyes
post-abandonment,
stumbling through the dump
of our broken promises
chasing butterfly success.

This wheezing world with its
headstone skyscrapers and its
overpriced sadness,
don’t tell me this is not a gift
when I see the smoke slithering up your throat
leaving trails on your tongue
like a shooting star

We all stretch on tiptoe
in our 5x5 backyards
hoping to catch some sugar-sweet starlight
but don’t forget about the light pollution
gnawing at your sky,
don’t forget
that ugly writes poetry too

Spit out the world you’ve inhaled;
form nebulae
from the dust blanketing your bones



I don’t write to give you hope.
Receive me like a forest fire,
the flames leaving panic in purple hickeys;
a desperate reminder
to make your monotony meaningful.

We have nothing else to give.
Giving Nebulous Normality
A little poem I wrote for my creative writing class about gifts. Enjoy!
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I've been holding these failures
between my teeth like bobby pins,
waiting for this
emptiness
to corrode my teeth
into something
pliers can fix

And my silence has been
the scent of the dentist's office
and busy public bathrooms
and I haven't slept in weeks.

I write your name
in candle wax and
set it on fire
but I'm growing tired
of all this burning,
especially the campfire
you're building atop
my rib cage

I am not a resource
but I ought to be
something more
than this.
Ashes
A fictional piece, kind of about loss, and kind of about the horror that is dentistry. Enjoy.
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I want to start off by saying that I really appreciate the notion behind this, that you mentioned in your description. You managed to address a very troubling issue head on and with a first-person perspective that brings readers to the heart of the problem. For that, I rated your Deviations' vision with 5 stars.

Originality was rated similarly high because of your style and unique descriptions, such as "Dishevelled hair forms a fuzzy halo...an angel who's risen from the fiery depths below." (This beautiful writing style also gave you points for technique!) I love the detail of the disturbing laughter as well, which really adds to the originality as well a bringing attention to the character's precarious mental state. The phrase "Depression is flaunted across the media daily as if it was a new, must have accessory" also really gets to me. Overall, your haunting descriptions of a real disease, and pointing out the flaws in society's construction of depression as such, make this piece very gripping and original.

I rated this piece at 4 stars for technique, because although I loved many of your poetic descriptions and overall style, I felt there was some room left for grammatical improvement. Some small errors I noticed were "dishevelled" (should be disheveled) and "forgot touch", which should perhaps be "forgotten touch". Since these small mistakes don't really take away from the overall impact of the piece, they didn't lower your rating for technique dramatically. You also have some sentences that seem a bit too long, making them awkward, an example of which is, "I wonder how my skin...hiding in my brain." This sentence is important, as it develops the reader's understanding of the character, and her negative feelings about herself. However, the lack of punctuation and the sentence length make it hard to grasp the concept. Perhaps shortening this and similar sentences, as well as adding punctuation, would give your writing better readability. Most of your writing in this piece, though, has a great variety of sentence lengths, and I wanted to point out that this definitely adds to the impact, especially the short last sentence, "I just want silence." The variation between longer poetic phrases and shorter fragments is an excellent part of this piece.

Your great success in turning a troubling societal problem into a lovable yet disturbingly beautiful character gives this piece huge impact and amazing originality. Keep writing!<3
Hi my lil sunshinepoos!

So I've started up a new writing blog where I'll be posting my work! I'll probably end up posting all of my work/updates there, particularly novel updates and stuff, but I'll still post some poetry and things here of course, whatever you guys would like to see! So follow me on my wordpress if you would like all my updates~ otherwise let me know what you'd like to see on this account!

I hope everyone is doing well. Feel free to message me anytime if you have any concerns, requests, or questions (or just wanna chat). 

my wordpress: cinnamoncinders.wordpress.com

-Jennifer
(WhisperedInsanity)
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: ELO - Rain is Falling
  • Reading: Girlchild - Tupelo Hassman
  • Watching: Orange is the New Black
  • Drinking: Water

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WhisperedInsanity
Jennifer
Artist | Student | Literature
Canada
Second year Psychology major and aspiring author attempting to capture the human experience.
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student Writer
:love: Thanks for the deviantwatch! :iconattackglompplz: I adore your work, so it really means a lot to me ><
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:iconblackbowfin:
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello Jennifer.  Thanks so much for the fave on Falling Back into Place.  It's very much appreciated.  Have a great one! :)
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:iconseamlessmaiden:
SeamlessMaiden Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks so much for the watch and the fave, darling! <3
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:iconwhisperedinsanity:
WhisperedInsanity Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for the same!<33 I hope you have an amazing day :happybounce: 
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:iconseamlessmaiden:
SeamlessMaiden Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome! <3 And you as well (:
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:iconarhiee:
arhiee Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav! >u< :heart:
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:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the faves <3
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Student Writer
:iconrainbowbummiecakeplz: Happy Birthday!
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:iconwhisperedinsanity:
WhisperedInsanity Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2013  Student Writer
OMG ITS RAINBOW. And thank youuu<33
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2013  Student Writer
=D You're welcome~
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